Tuesday, March 20, 2012

If you need me I'll be drunk and crying in the corner.

F*uck you Micheal Bay.
I bet most of you already know what this is about, don't worry, I'll be quick.  This man has decided that raping the Transformers, and putting that douche Shia LaBeouf in a leading role, is not enough of a crime.  No, this twat has to take motherf*cking TMNT and remove most of the damn letters.
How you ask, by making them aliens.  This removes the mutant and turtle parts of the title.  It prolly also takes care of the teenage part as who really knows how old a bunch of aliens are supposed to be.  Removing and replacing we get something like "Alien Ninja Turtle-like Creatures of Indeterminate Age", not quite as catchy.
But wait, there's more!  As ninja are earth based whatever form of martial arts these aliens practice is certainly different, unless he decides they've been trained by watching old movies broadcast into space, like Stifler in that one movie whose name escapes me right now, except for the space bit.
So the movie should be titled, *breath* "Alien Martial-Artist-Similar-to-Nijutsu Turtle-like Creatures of Indeterminate Age".  Tots pumped.
In closing, I would actually prefer to have Uwe Boll make this movie because then no one would see it, it would be a low budget piece of crap and it would be quickly forgotten.  But because Michael Bay is making it it will be a well-received, but (hopefully) critically panned, blockbuster.  Plus, if Uwe Boll did it there would be no chance of sequels or Shia LaBeouf.


  1. I heard about this, I certainly wont be watching it now. People who don't remember the original comics or cartoons will probably lap it up though, and it'll make tens of millions in the first week. I wish I was an alien so I could leave this planet, I don't want to live here any more lol.